Review of The Great Secret by L. Ron Hubbard

SFFaudio Review

The Great Secret by L. Ron HubbardThe Great Secret
By L. Ron Hubbard; Read by various
2 CDs – Approx. 2 Hours 20 Minutes [UNABRIDGED]
Publisher: Galaxy Press
Published: 2008
ISBN: 1592122493
Themes: / Science Fiction / Pulp / Spaceship / Navy / Venus / Slavery /
Fanner Marston was raised as a slave as a child, became a petty street thief as a teen, and now masters his own craft and crew as a grown man. He’s also gone completely mad. Driven by privation, with a vicious greed and slavering lust for power, Marston alone of forty men has survived the perilous trek through a blistering desert to the magical city of Parva, where legend says a secret awaits which will give him absolute control over the Universe. However, Marston finds the key to all power is not at all what he expected…”

Galaxy Press has given a deluxe treatment to these very pulpy pulp tales. The handsome cover art dates from 1949. Inside the package there is a 37 page, fully illustrated, booklet that includes a 6 page essay by Kevin J. Anderson and a 15 page biography of Hubbard. There are four stories included in this collection:

The Great Secret (Approx. 17 Minutes) – Narrated by Bruce Boxleitner, this is a fairly compelling, and quite strong story. The tale of an utterly driven man, searching for the alien tech rosetta stone that will make him the master of the universe. It could be interpreted as a Buddhist, Confucian or even Nietzschean parable. It also reminded me of the old “The Rip Van Winkle Caper” episode from the original Twilight Zone TV series. Boxleitner does good work.

Space Can (Approx. 35 Minutes) – A tale written in a bombastic puff that is so pulpy as to feel like it’s a pure pastiche. It’s the tale of a space navy ship “Menace” on patrol against superior aliens from Saturn. The action feels like a WWI-era naval battle, or earlier, complete with iron plated battleships, brstling with cannons, all pounding away at each other. There’s a lot in this short story, a breif setup, a few fights, a steely-eyed captain and crew, not to mention the fun sword-wielding ship boarding scenes. Space Can has multiple readers, though they only show up when the sparse dialogue appears.

3. The Beast (Approx. 43 Minutes) – On swampy Venus a mysterious Beast must be killed. Ginger Cranston, a “great white hunter” from Earth. Despite all the action this may be the most thoughtful tale in this collection, I quite liked where it went, though the getting there could have been a lot clearer. It’s almost like the movie Predator, except with an inversion of the alien and the man. Running water, grunts, and punching sounds all make the nifty action the narrator is giving out, hard to hear. It’s like a white noise, interfering with story.

4. The Slaver (Approx. 42 Minutes) – The weakest tale in this set, hardly memorable. Captured by slave traders, our hero, Kree Lorin the young hawk of Falcon’s Nest, outwits his captors, frees Dana, the “peasant girl of Palmerton” girl, and regains his spaceship. It’s got some very hokey dialogue and even hokier descriptions. I ended up not caring about it, and had to go back and listen again to recall any of the details.

Overall, the entire audiobook all feels over-produced. These Hubbard tales don’t really require multiple readers as they are very dialogue sparse. Also, the spartan use of sound effects and atmospheric sound doesn’t add anything substantial – in fact, in poor listening conditions, like while listening on the road, makes the varied voice types harder to hear. I can recommend The Beast and The Great Secret, these are solid pulp stories.

Posted by Jesse Willis

Crescent by Phil Rossi (a podiobook goint to print)

SFFaudio Online Audio

Crescent by Phil RossiPhil Rossi, that magnificent beast, writes in to remind us of his podcast novel Crescent. Check out his promo |MP3| and then, if you likes what you hears, check it out either on the Crescent website or over on Podiobooks.com. Here’s the description:

Some places are far darker than deep space. Places where the shadows smile. Where men go mad and lovers go missing. These stygian corners of existence are where reality is stretched thin and something hungry is waiting just outside the corner of your eye.

Turn out the lights, take a deep breath, and dare to visit one of these places.

Crescent is dark science fiction at it’s most visceral. Phil Rossi weaves a tale that is reminiscent of old school Stephen King but with a shiny, new set of tricks and an appetite to terrify. There’s sex. There’s corruption. There’s horror. And after you sweat your way through the first chapter, there’s plenty more to keep you awake at night.

The podiobook’s been popular enough to get picked up, like a select few before it, by Dragon Moon Press. According to Rossi it’ll be out in its paperbook version in 2009.

Posted by Jesse Willis

A Bite of Stars, A Slug of Time, and Thou: Such Is Fate by Arsen Darnay

SFFaudio Online Audio

A Bite of Stars, a Slug of Time, and Thou - a Resonance FM podcastA Bite of Stars, A Slug of Time, and Thou, that terrific radio show on Resonance FM presents another terrific story, this one from the September-October 1974 issue of “Worlds of If” magazine. On the podcast Magnus Anderson joins the Slug Lords to talk about Arsen Darnay’s short story, “Such Is Fate” – which is a strong SF story that really isn’t very SF at all, but which is really quite good nonetheless.

Such is Fate by Arsen DarnayEpisode 12 – Such Is Fate
By Arsen Darnay; Read by Elisha Sessions
Podcast – 60 Minutes [UNABRIDGED]
Podcaster: A Bite Of Stars, A Slug Of Time, And Thou
Podcast: September 30th, 2008
A gypsy, a sailor, and a tank of liquefied gas all combine to retell an oft told tale.

Podcast feed:

http://freakytrigger.co.uk/slugoftime-podcast/feed/

Posted by Jesse Willis

Sound Affects does a War Of The Worlds month

SFFaudio Online Audio

Sound Affects: A Radio PlaygroundThis October marks the 70th Anniversary of the Orson Welles and the Mercury Theatre’s War of the Worlds program, now known as “the panic broadcast” of 1938. It’s also the 110th Anniversary of the publication of the original novel by H. G. Wells. In celebration each Sunday this month Jerry Stearns, host of Sound Affects: A Radio Playground, will present excerpts from some of the many different radio versions of the War of the Worlds, plus parodies and take-offs, and background on the original Orson Welles production and at least a dozen other versions since then.

Sound Affects: A Radio Playground airs every Sunday in October at 9:30 PM on
KFAI, 90.3 FM and 106.7 FM, Minneapolis and St. Paul. Online streaming is available at KFAI.org. Here’s the October schedule:

October 5th 2998 – The story surrounding the 1938 Orson Welles “War of the Worlds”, the most famous radio broadcast of all time. And a parody, “They Came For The Candy” by Wisconsin’s Radio Pirates (featuring Scott Dikkers, of ‘The Onion’).

October 12th 2998 – Excerpts of War of the Worlds productions by the *Lux Radio Theater*, and the *L.A. TheatreWorks* (with an all Star Trek cast), plus three different parodies.

October 19th 2998 – Excerpts of *Jeff Wayne’s musical* version of War of the Worlds, from *WKBW* in Buffalo, NY, and from the *BBC*, plus more take-offs, including the *Simpsons* parody.

October 26th 2998 – The complete *50th Anniversary Production of War of the Worlds*, starring *Jason Robards*, Steve Allen, Hector Elizondo and recognizable voices from NPR, all recorded on location at George Lucas’ Skywalker Ranch by Oscar winning sound artist Randy Thom, and directed by David Ossman.

Posted by Jesse Willis

The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy – The 419 edition

SFFaudio Online Audio

419Eater.comAs many of you may know we like our audiobooks UNABRIDGED and read by professionals. Which is why I think you’ll be pleased to hear there is a new UNABRIDGED audiobook version of Douglas Adam’s incomparable The Hitch-Hiker’s Guide To The Galaxy available for your listening pleasure. Even better, it’s one hundred percent free!

And… just by giving out your bank account details and password there’s even the prospect of earning FIFTEEN Million US Dollars!!!

Seriously!

No, SERIOUSLY!*


“My apologies. I made an honest mistake. My glasses are not working well today (I forgot to change the batteries) and I was reading the number incorrectly”

Well, that’s almost the story – the nearly unbelievable story of the latest UNABRIDGED production of The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy documented on 419Eater.com.

419Eater.com is a website that turns those pesky Spanish Prisoner (AKA Nigerian Prince) scams on their heads – reverse-grifting the criminals. The website chronicles various “baits,” with e-mail exchanges, MP3s of recorded phone calls, photos and more between the baiters and the scammers. The scam that attracted me was one in which a non-existent audiobook company gets a scammer to read and record the entire The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy. The entire reverse-scam is documented HERE. And here is the fruit of that bizarre labour….

The HitchHiker’s Guide To The Galaxy by Douglas AdamsThe Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy
By Douglas Adams; Read by Chinweoke Trevor Nwauzor
36 Zipped MP3 Files – Approx. 8 Hours [UNABRIDGED]
Publisher: 419Eater.com
Published: July 2007
When contractors arrive at Earthling Arthur Dent’s house in order to demolish it to make way for a bypass. Arthur’s friend Ford Prefect arrives as Arthur is attempting to talk the demolition crew into leaving his house standing, and talks Arthur into coming to a local pub with him, at which point Ford explains that he (Ford) is actually from a planet somewhere near Betelgeuse and that they have to get off the planet before it’s demolished. An alien race of bureaucrats called Vogons intend to destroy Earth to make way for a “hyperspace bypass.”

INTRODUCTION

Chapter 01 Chapter 08 Chapter 15 Chapter 22 Chapter 29
Chapter 02 Chapter 09 Chapter 16 Chapter 23 Chapter 30
Chapter 03 Chapter 10 Chapter 17 Chapter 24 Chapter 31
Chapter 04 Chapter 11 Chapter 18 Chapter 25 Chapter 32
Chapter 05 Chapter 12 Chapter 19 Chapter 26 Chapter 33
Chapter 06 Chapter 13 Chapter 20 Chapter 27 Chapter 34
Chapter 07 Chapter 14 Chapter 21 Chapter 28 Chapter 35

So ya, this is a pretty awful reading, perhaps the worst reading of an audiobook ever. Amazing that it was achieved, but it is not really listenable. The only part of it I thought that works is when we hear the Vogon poetry (Chapter 7). It’s really, really, really bad.

And for you paperbook aficionado’s there’s a handwritten version of J.K. Rowling’s first Harry Potter book available over on 419Eater.com, all 249 pages of it.

Posted by Jesse Willis

*not seriously

A Bite of Stars, a Slug of Time, and Thou has Aye and Gomorrah by Samuel R. Delany

SFFaudio Online Audio

A Bite of Stars, a Slug of Time, and Thou - a Resonance FM podcastThe second series of A Bite of Stars, a Slug of Time, and Thou is underway, and the podcast radio show (on Resonance FM 104.4 FM in London, U.K.) has out-done itself by recording a terrific and moving reading of Aye and Gomorrah by Samuel R. Delany. Victoria de Rijke joins Mark Sinker and Elisha Sessions to talk about the story and Delany in general. This is insightful listening about one of the most well written and unusual stories in all of Science Fiction.

Aye, and Gomorrah by Samuel R. DelanyEpisode 11 – Aye, and Gomorrah
By Samuel R. Delany; Read by Elisha Sessions
Podcast – 1 Hour [UNABRIDGED]
Podcaster: A Bite Of Stars, A Slug Of Time, And Thou
Podcast: September 23rd, 2008
Winner of the 1967 Nebula Award for best short story. First in Harlan Ellison’s seminal 1967 anthology, Dangerous Visions.It takes place in a world where astronauts, known as Spacers, are neutered before puberty to avoid the effects of space radiation on gametes. They are fetishized by a subculture of ‘frelks’, those attracted by the Spacers’ unattainability and unarousability (‘free-fall-sexual-displacement complex’). The mischief-loving Spacers exploit this for amusement and money — and possibly out of loneliness and a desire to recapture their lost sexuality. The story tells of a Spacer’s poignant meeting with a female frelk.

The previous show presents a J.G. Ballard short story, a tough one, not quite as easily accessible (which is saying something)…

Track 12 by J.G. BallardEpisode 10 – Track 12
By J.G. Ballard; Read by Elisha Sessions
Podcast – 1 Hour [UNABRIDGED?]
Podcaster: A Bite Of Stars, A Slug Of Time, And Thou
Podcast: September 16th, 2008
A Science Fiction short story about electromusic? Yup. A retelling of Poe’s The Cask Of Amontillado? Very likely. Fully comprehensible? Maybe. Published in a 1958 issue of New Worlds.

And, the first show, of the second series, has a classic Robert Sheckley tale, only 5 pages long, but also a massive epic [I just wish there wasn’t any background music or SFX during the reading]…

Zirn Left Unguarded, The Jenghik Palace in Flames, Jon Westerley Dead by Robert SheckleyEpisode 09 – Zirn Left Unguarded, The Jenghik Palace in Flames, Jon Westerley Dead
By Robert Sheckley; Read by Elisha Sessions
Podcast – 1 Hour [UNABRIDGED?]
Podcaster: A Bite Of Stars, A Slug Of Time, And Thou
Podcast: September 10th, 2008
“It’s got swords, vast space battles and God’s receptionist.”

The one bad thing about this podcast (other than the lack of title and author name at the beginning of the story) is there are no direct links available (for hotlinking), you’ll have click through or subscribe to the podcast to get the files – which likely means about 75% 60% of the people who listen to podcasts via direct links won’t get to hear it. Slug Of Time guys, it’s time to fix that!

Here’s the podcast feed for the few of you who know how to use it:

http://freakytrigger.co.uk/slugoftime-podcast/feed/

Posted by Jesse Willis