Review of Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians

SFFaudio Review

Fantasy Audiobook - Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians by Brandon SandersonAlcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians
By Brandon Sanderson; Read by Charlie McWade
6 Hours, 15 Minutes – [UNABRIDGED]
Publisher: Scholastic
Published: 2008
Themes: / Fantasy / YA / Talent / Magic /

I have to admit, I bought the book when it first came out, because I like the author and I like the premise. But, since I am visually impaired, I had to wait for the audiobook. It was worth the wait.

What appealed to me about the book?

First, it’s a book about a cult of EVIL LIBRARIANS. I love librarians. I have friends who are librarians. I have two library cards. But still… the idea makes me smile. And that was before I read the book.

Second, the first sentence of the book is: “So, there I was, tied to an altar made from out-dated encyclopedias, about to get sacrificed to the dark powers by a cult of evil Librarians.”

Third, Alcatraz Smedry, the protagonist of the book, claims to be the true author. Brandon Sanderson is a pseudonym used to publish the book in Libraria – the lands controlled by the evil librarians.

So, I was already bouncing on my chair at the prospect of finally getting to hear the book… Would it live up to its promise? I’ll let you read to the end before I answer that one. Because, like Alcatraz Smedry, I’m not always a nice person. Hehehe

Alcatraz, the narrator, has a running commentary around chapters. He comments on the story as he goes along. Delightful asides that enlighten and entertain as the story goes along. When Smedry mentioned Heisenberg, my inner geek was happy.

On Alcatraz’ 13th birthday, he receives a box of sand, sent 13 years ago by his parents. As he had a knack for causing damage, he also burns down the kitchen of his foster parents’ house and is told he will once again be taken from one foster family and sent to live with another. The next day, his grandfather, who is always running late, shows up to keep Alcatraz’ inheritance from falling into the hands of the evil librarians. Too late. The sand is gone.

Thus begins Alcatraz’ adventures. He learns that Smedries have powerful talents. Alcatraz breaks things. His grandfather, Leavenworth, is late. His cousin, Sing Sing, falls down. His other cousin, Quentin, speaks gibberish. Why are these powerful magical talents? Read the book. (Told you I wasn’t very nice.)

Alcatraz, his grandfather, cousins, and his grandfather’s bodyguard, Bastille, have to sneak into the City Library, a powerful building filled with evil librarians to get it back before they can turn the sand into powerful, magical glasses.

Trust me. It just gets better from here. Wait until you meet the dinosaurs!

The book is a middle grade reader, written for 5th – 7th graders, but I, a female over 40, LOVED the book. I am now a fan of Alcatraz and will get EVERY Alcatraz book and audiobook. And tell all my friends to get the books, too.

The book is refreshingly quirky, action-filled and absolutely delightful. On a scale of 1-10, I give it an 11. Charlie McWade does an awesome job of bringing Alcatraz to life.

Listen to the audiobook. Make your friends listen. Give them to your kids. Give them to your friends’ kids. This is a book the entire family can enjoy. Trust me. Don’t let the evil librarians win. Buy the book and the audiobook. Then buy the sequel. You’ll thank me for it. I promise.

Posted by Charlene C. Harmon

BBC Radio 4: The Wonderful Wizard Of Oz RADIO DRAMA

SFFaudio Online Audio

Radio Times - The Saturday Play - The Wonderful Wizard Of Oz reviewed by Jane AndersonBBC Radio 4Do you like your roads yellow bricked?

Do you prefer your lions cowardly?

How about your scarecrows?

You like them brainless right?

I knew you did.

BBC Radio 4 - The Saturday Play - The Wonderful Wizard Of OzThe Wonderful Wizard Of Oz
Based on the novel by L. Frank Baum; Adapted by Linda Marshall; Performed by a full cast
1 Broadcast – Approx. 1 Hour [RADIO DRAMA]
Broadcaster: BBC Radio 4 / Saturday Play
Broadcast: December 19, 2009 @ 14:30-15:30
When a tornado strikes her farmhouse in Kansas, young Dorothy is lifted to the magical world of Oz, where she embarks upon a perilous journey to find her way back home.

Cast:
Dorothy …… Amelia Clarkson
Wizard of Oz/Kalidah/Uncle Henry …… Jonathan Keeble
Scarecrow …… Kevin Eldon
Tinman …… Burn Gorman
Lion …… Zubin Varla
Witch of the North/South/West/Aunt Em …….Emma Fielding
King Monkey/Miner …… Andrew Westfield
Munchkin/Gatekeeper …… Graeme Hawley

With Original Music by Olly Fox

Directed by Nadia Molinari

First published in the USA in 1900, and constantly in print since then, L. Frank Baum’s novel of Kansas and another world is the first in a series of 14 books that have entered the public domain in the USA. Though there have been many adaptations – most notably the 1939 film, radio dramatizations have been few and far between.

Incidentally, TellTaleWeekly.org, a website I shamefully haven’t mentioned in a few years, has an excellent DRM-free audiobook version of The Wonderful Wizard Of Oz available for download (and it’s cheap @ just $6.00). |READ OUR REVIEW|

Audiobook fans who prefer the simplicity and immediacy of a LibriVox audiobook should also take note of the all public domain edition of The Wonderful Wizard Of Oz available for FREE over on LibriVox.org!

[Thanks to the man behind the curtain, Roy!]

Posted by Jesse Willis

LibriVox: Allan’s Wife by H. Rider Haggard

SFFaudio Online Audio

LibriVoxYou can make a good case for the sexism in old books. Just look at the Book of Genesis: Lot’s Wife. Noah’s Wife. These are the ladies so oppressed that they didn’t even deserve names. However, I think we can attribute what looks like the exact came same kind of sexism in titling Allan’s Wife more to marketing than anything else. This is, after all, the third novel in the Allan Quatermain series. And it’s not actually very much about his wife, at least at the start. It tells more tales of Quatermain’s time in South Africa, his observations about two dueling witchdoctors (they use their magic to control lighting), his father’s death, and eventually the fate of his wife. For the record Allan Quatermain’s wife (of the title) is named “Stella Carson.” Come to think of it, some clever writer could probably do a whole series of YA books called The Adventures Of Allanah Quatermain (perhaps a secret grandaughter?). Until then…

LibriVox - Allan's Wife by H. Rider HaggardAllan’s Wife
By H. Rider Haggard; Read by Elaine Tweddle
15 Zipped MP3 Files or Podcast – Approx. 4 Hours 49 Minutes [UNABRIDGED]
Publisher: LibriVox.org
Published: December 2009

Podcast feed: http://librivox.org/rss/3718

iTunes 1-Click |SUBSCRIBE|

[Thanks also to mim@can and James Christopher]

Posted by Jesse Willis

Review of Poison Sleep by T.A. Pratt

SFFaudio Review

Fantasy Audiobook - Poison Sleep by T.A. PrattPoison Sleep (A Marla Mason Novel)
By T.A. Pratt; Read by Jessica Almasy
9 Hours, 41 Minutes – [UNABRIDGED]
Publisher: Audible Frontiers
Published: 2009
Themes: / Fantasy / Urban Fantasy / Magic / Crime /

This is the second Marla Mason novel from T. A. Pratt, yet you don’t need to have read the first book to appreciate this one. Marla is once again back in her home town of Felport. Marla is the chief Sorcerer of the city and she works to keep all the other sorcerers in the city in line. A thankless job. Part crime boss, part superhero. At her side is her somewhat reluctant friend, Rondeau. He’s not one to back down from danger, but the toilets in his night club need unblocking and Marla should really learn to do her own laundry. And shopping. And driving. She could use a Personal Assistant.

Freshly escaped from the Blackwing institute is a prisoner, Genevieve, who has been asleep for the last fifteen years. The Blackwing Institute is a prison that holds criminally insane sorcerers. You know, those that want to kill everyone in sacrifice to their own gods, or others that are a danger to the normal people who don’t believe in magic. Genevieve isn’t a criminal though. But she is unimaginably dangerous as her dreams affect reality. Unfortunately she has a lot of nightmares, so being catatonic for the last decade and a half has been a good thing for everyone else.

As Marla and Rondeau try to find Genevieve, there is also a rouge assassin somewhere in town stalking his prey. And one of her sorcerer isn’t answering her calls. Genevieve is affecting the city more and more. It is a race to reach her when she next appears out of her dream realm and starts changing the city.

Marla is a kick-in-the-door and subdue everyone kinda woman. She’s very strong and not afraid of a fight. The subtler side of negotiations sometimes elude her, particularly if they require much in the way of patience.

Although Genevieve’s story is tragic and disturbing, this is a fun story and Jessica Almasy carries you smoothly into the winter of Marla’s snow-bound Felport.

If you love your urban fantasy, hold the vampires and werewolves,
you’ll enjoy Poison Sleep.

Posted by Paul [W] Campbell

The SFFaudio Podcast #042 – READALONG: The Coming Of Conan The Cimmerian by Robert E. Howard

Podcast

The SFFaudio PodcastThe SFFaudio Podcast #042 – Jesse is joined by Brian Murphy and Gregg Margarite to talk about the Tantor Media audiobook: The Coming Of Conan The Cimmerian by Robert E. Howard |READ OUR REVIEW|.

Talked about on today’s show:
The Hyena by Robert E. Howard, racism, racism in Robert E. Howard’s fiction, Jack London, H.P. Lovecraft, Solomon Kane, Crom, By This Axe I Rule, Howard/Lovecraft correspondence, plot vs. mood, pessimism, writers who kill themselves, Philip K. Dick, defining chaos, Dark Valley Destiny by L. Sprague de Camp, Blood And Thunder by Mark Finn, Howard’s life and death, The Whole Wide World, Howards’ westerns and historical stories, “with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth”: was Howard or Conan bipolar?, Texas in the early 20th century, Conan’s intellect, The Tower Of The Elephant, Barbarian vs. Cimmerian, Conan’s philosophy (Epicureanism?), fantasy, Howard’s use of magic, The Frost Giant’s Daughter (aka Gods Of The North), magic doesn’t trump steel, existentialism, nihilism, Ymir, The Prisoner, Howard’s animal similes, The God in the Bowl is a murder mystery and a locked room mystery and a detective story!, Yag-Kosha isn’t a great alien design, The Hyborian Age, Marvel’s Conan The Barbarian, The Savage Sword Of Conan, Dark Horse’s Conan, Curtis Magazines, The Scarlet Citadel, big battles and giant snakes, Marvel’s King Conan (Conan The King), The Hour Of The Dragon, Queen Of The Black Coast, barbarian love, Oliver Stone, John Milius, The Howard Conan:

“Let me live deep while I live; let me know the rich juices of red meat and stinging wine on my palate, the hot embrace of white arms, the mad exultation of battle when the blue blades flame and crimson, and I am content. Let teachers and priests and philosophers brood over questions of reality and illusion. I know this: if life is illusion, then I am no less an illusion, and being thus, the illusion is real to me. I live, I burn with life, I love, I slay, and am content.”

The Stone/Milius Conan:

“Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women.”

How do you pronounce names like Cimmeria and Bêlit?, Clark Ashton Smith, Bêlit’s character, Conan the Daoist, Conan’s character, Conan’s morality, Black Colossus, who the hell is Mitra?, The Cimmerian blog, Rogues In The House, Iron Shadows In The Moon, the Vilayet Sea, A Probable Outline Of Conan’s Career, Red Nails, The Pool of the Black One, Rogues In The House, people are animals, Charles Darwin and Robert E. Howard, Clifford D. Simak, man’s successor (intelligent dogs) take over, Thak is a great character name, writing (or just saying that you are), Fantasy seems to be a novel length genre, The Bloody Crown Of Conan, The Conquering Sword Of Conan, narrator Todd McLaren, character voices, bite the wax tadpole, Roy Thomas.

A 1938 newstand full of pulp magazines

Tantor Media - The Coming Of Conan The Cimmerian, The Bloody Crown Of Conan, The Conquering Sword Of Conan

Posted by Jesse Willis

Review of The Lies Of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch

SFFaudio Review

Science Fiction Audiobook - The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott LynchThe Lies of Locke Lamora
By Scott Lynch; Read by Michael Page
18 CDs – Approx. 23 Hours [UNABRIDGED]
Publisher: Tantor Audiobooks
Published: 2009
ISBN: 1400110513
Themes: / Fantasy / Crime / Magic /

An orphan’s life is harsh—and often short—in the island city of Camorr, built on the ruins of a mysterious alien race. But born with a quick wit and a gift for thieving, Locke Lamora has dodged both death and slavery, only to fall into the hands of an eyeless priest known as Chains—a man who is neither blind nor a priest. A con artist of extraordinary talent, Chains passes his skills on to his carefully selected “family” of orphans—a group known as the Gentlemen Bastards.

Here’s the one sentence summary I’ve been using to describe The Lies Of Loche Lamora:

Like Oliver Twist in Lankhmar.

In a way this is the anti-Harry Potter book. It’s about a school for thieves and not magicians. It doesn’t have heroes and villains as much as it has profligate crooks and despicable liars. Our protagonist is the titular Locke Lamora, a young wastrel in the city of Camorr. He’d starve or be sold into worse slavery had he not been born with a certain larceny in his heart. Camorr, the city itself, too is a terrific character in this book, being a vividly described assemblage of various fantasy cities Lankhmar, Arenjun, and real life historical ports like late medieval Venice. Under careful tutelage, Locke and his companions grow into formidable talents, practicing their art in a series of ever more elaborate con-games.

When I was a kid playing Dungeons and Dragons I almost always played the “thief” class. Magic users always seemed lame to me, clerics were like magic users but with religion (which seemed to me like a third wheel for actual role playing) and fighters were boring. Sure you’re tough – and that’s good for fighting, but that’s it. I always thought there was a little too much fighting in D&D. My favourite part of role playing was the part in the tavern, before the quest proper really got started. I was inspired by Baggins burglar clan – but thought they had it too damn easy with the magic ring of theirs. Later in life I’d see movies like: The Sting, The Grifters, and Harry In Your Pocket. I’d read books like: The Green Eagle Score and The Girl With The Long Green Heart. Those stories all had setups I really dug. I liked characters who lived by their wits. Characters who, without being either the best shot, or the fastest draw, without having the biggest muscles or fastest legs could make the getaway with at least half a sack of gold in hand. And that’s why I like The Lies Of Loch Lamora so much.

The Lies Of Locke Lamora is rich with detail. I have a hard time conceiving just how much time Scott Lynch put into the world building. The magic system is based, smartly, around the “language” or “name” model of magic. Words have power. Knowing the “true name” of something or someone gives you power over it. Indeed, even in real life language is almost like magic. I can say to you something like: “The blue horse with the rainbow flavoured fedora is clambering slowly up the valley’s cool red roof” and some sort of weird imagery is suddenly **poofed** into your mind. I can buy into this kind of magic. It’s the same kind of magic that J.K. Rowling puts into her villain names: Just think about it, Voldemort and Malfoy, (“underground death dweller” and “bad foil”). It’s too bad Rowling didn’t have the teachers at Hogwarts teaching this magic language magic system instead of the hodge-podge it has – I might have cared more. So back to the book at hand, magic plays a fairly central role in the plot of The Lies Of Locke Lamora, it’s rare, and doesn’t enter into the novel until quite late. Other furnishings in Lynch’s Fantasy landscape include substitution. Instead of glasses we get “optiks” and instead of chemical we get “alchemical.”

Thinking back, narrator Michael Page did employ a fairly wide range of voices. And there are quite a few characters for him to bring to life. Several of these age over time. Some narrators take over the text, Page is not one of them – he delivers the lines as appropriate, so that for the most part I didn’t notice his performance. If there are any laments I have about this excellent audiobook they are very few. One would be it’s length, it is a tad long. This is a sin that virtually every Fantasy novel is guilty of these days. It held my attention, but there were certainly a few scenes that could have been easily summarized without losing one whit of the novel’s otherwise careful pacing. Another lament, the Bantam Spectra paperbook edition of this book includes an excellent map of the city of Camorr. Modern audiobooks never include maps as a supplement. So neither does this Tantor edition. This is a mistake. Any novel assumes a certain familiarity with geography but Fantasy novels, especially of this kind, are burdened with creating a new world from scratch. An audience that is unfamiliar with its geography is less likely to be able to follow the action spatially. Several times during my was listening I wished I had a map of the city of Camorr at hand.

If you do get this audiobook I suggest that you print out a copy of THIS MAP over on ScottLynch.us.

Posted by Jesse Willis