The Xmas Files – an audio drama parody

SFFaudio News

The X-Mas FilesGeorge Plumley wrote in to tell us about one of his older projects:

I’m a huge fan of audio drama and that led me to produce some of my own years ago. One of the projects was The Xmas Files. I originally brought it out on cassette when the X-Files was just a young pup, but now have it online:

http://www.xmasfiles.com

It was one of my earliest forays into digital production – done on an Atari using the original Cubase audio program (the thing fit on a single floppy disk)… ok, so that’s dating things a bit, eh? Another interesting fact about the production is that I recorded it when I lived in Vancouver and most of the actors appeared in bit roles on the X-Files (the lead, Michael Dobson, is also a major voice actor in the Anime field).

I had a copy of this show back years ago, on cassette, back when audio drama was hard to find. I probably got it during X-Files mania, either during or shortly after the first season of The X-Files aired.

Posted by Jesse Willis

Escape Pod for Xmas: In The Late December by Greg van Eekhout

OnlineAudio

Escape Pod has a Nebula award-nominated story about Santa Claus and the end of the universe.

Escape Pod - The Science Fiction Podcast MagazineIn The Late December
By Greg van Eekhout; Read by Stephen Eley
1 |MP3| – Approx. 27 Minutes [UNABRIDGED]
Podcaster: Escape Pod
Podcast: December 25th 2007

They come to a cloud of silver mist, and there Santa finds a little boy made of molten silver with liquid silver eyes and sweeping silver delta wings. His wrists are ringed with missile launchers, and a rounded cone emerges from a cavity in his chest. Once there were many silver boys, fleets of them, protecting the outermost parts of inhabited space against things that came from outside inhabited space. But now, there is only the silver boy.

“You, sir,” the silver boy says, “are a tiresome consciousness cluster. Your binary value system remains as laughable as it is irrelevant. How you manage to remain cohesive is beyond me.”

“My value system is hardly binary,” Santa says. “In between naughty and nice I’ve made room for you: grumpy but fundamentally sound. Do you want a toy or not?”

And be sure to stick around for the closing rendition of Chiron Beta Prime.

Subscribe to the podcast feed via this url:

http://escapepod.org/podcast.xml

Posted by Jesse Willis

Beam Me Up for Christmas

SFFaudio Online Audio

Podcast - Beam Me UpPaul Cole from the Beam Me Up radio show/podcast sez of his latest show (Episode 84 Beam Me Up):

“This week I am running two “Christmas stories” – dark as they might be.”

And they are indeed dark! Have a listen |MP3|.

Teddy
By Shaun Saunders; Read by Paul Cole

Fear Itself
By Lewis Shiner; Read by Paul Cole

Subscribe to the podcast via this feed:

http://beameup.podomatic.com/rss2.xml

A Coulton Christmas Carol: Chiron Beta Prime

SFFaudio Online Audio

Yes it is the time of year when singing about aerial caribou with magically glowing proboscises is deemed highly appropriate. Ya.

If you’ve always been more of a Science Fiction fan than a Fantasy fan then maybe this song is for you…

Chiron Beta Prime ART by jawboneradioChiron Beta Prime
Lyrics by Jonathon Coulton; Performed by Jonathon Coulton
1 |MP3| – Approx. 3 Minutes [CHRISTMAS MUSIC]
Provider: JonathonCoulton.com
Created: 2006
A delightful song along the lines of what’s-new-with-us-this-year-type Christmas card.

And here are the lyrix so you can practice up for the mandated robot overlord caroling session…

This year has been a little crazy for the Andersons.
You may recall we had some trouble last year.
The robot council had us banished to an asteroid.
That hasn’t undermined our holiday cheer.
And we know it’s almost Christmas from the marks we make on the wall.
And that’s our favorite time of year.

Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime,
where we’re working in a mine for our robot overlords.
Did I say overlords? I meant protectors.
Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime.

On every corner there’s a giant metal Santa Claus who watches over us with glowing red eyes.
They carry weapons and they know if you’ve been bad or good.
Not everybody’s good but everyone tries.
And the rocks outside the airlock exude ammonia-scented snow.
It’s like a Winter wonderland.

Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime,
where we’re working in a mine for our robot overlords.
Did I say overlords? I meant protectors.
Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime.

That’s all the family news that we’re allowed to talk about.
We really hope you’ll come and visit us soon.
I mean we’re literally begging you to visit us.
And make it quick before they [MESSAGE REDACTED].
Now it’s time for Christmas dinner – I think the robots sent us a pie!
You know I love my soylent green.

Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime,
where we’re working in a mine for our robot overlords.
Did I say overlords? I meant protectors.
Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime.

And here’s the LIVE version |MP3|

Posted by Jesse Willis

Review of A War Of Gifts – An Ender Story by Orson Scott Card

SFFaudio Review

Science Fiction Audiobook - A War of Gifts by Orson Scott CardA War of Gifts – An Ender Story
By Orson Scott Card; Read by Scott Brick and Stefan Rudnicki
2 CDs – Approx. 2.5 Hours [UNABRIDGED]
Publisher: Macmillan Audio
Published: 2007
ISBN: 9781593976316
Themes: / Science Fiction / Psychology / Christmas /
|LISTEN TO A CLIP! |

“The children come from many nations and many religions; and while they are being trained for war, religious conflict between them is not on the curriculum. But Dink Meeker, one of the older students, doesn’t see it that way. He thinks that giving gifts isn’t exactly a religious observation, and on Sinterklaaus Day he tucks a present into another student’s shoe. The War over Santa Claus will force everyone to make a choice.”

A War of Gifts is a Christmas story set on a space station near Earth. There, Zeck Morgan, an intelligent boy with a phenomenally retentive memory, sits as an unwanted draftee into a school for generals. His parents and he, are deeply religious, but since the students there come from every nation and religion on Earth no religious observance is allowed. So when two Dutch boys find a way to celebrate Sinterklaas Day Zeck maps out a plan to get himself home.

Set in “battle school” of Orson Scott Card’s famous Ender’s Game novel, and concordant with the events of that book we learn of a new student who has more than one reason not to want to be there. First, Zeck is a pacifist, second he’s deeply religious. Both of these things are absolutely anathema in battle school. There’s plenty of rumination, and plenty of issues too, many of which will make people squirm to hear. Card does no preaching, but its clear he understands it. Which makes the novelette all the more interesting. Now I’ve read and heard several reviews about this novelette that were pretty negative (Sci-Fi Weekly, Beam Me Up, SFReviews.net). The reviewers complained either that it was a ‘cheap way to cash in’ or that it ‘wasn’t up to Card’s usual writing standards’. Some also attributed a kind of religious bias towards Christianity too. I think that most of this criticism is uncharitable. That said, A War Of Gifts will not set a new high standard for Card or for Science Fiction. But it wasn’t intended to either. It is a modest story, well written and like all of the recent “Ender tales” about Ender’s Game it is primarily about the minor characters. A War Of Gifts isn’t an independent story. You really must have read and enjoyed Ender’s Game to appreciate it, and then you must also realize that these character stories are all psychological stories – stories of the people in a science fiction world and not about the science fiction world itself. What card does is take a complex person and decode them into psychologically understandability. He does it with a humane and unjaded eye. If you come at it without a lot of preconceptions I think you can quite enjoy it – as I most certainly did.

Scott Brick and Stefan Rudnicki trade off reading chapters and points of view in a narrative dance that is both seamless and elegant. As Card himself says…

“The ideal presentation of any book of mine is to have excellent actors perform in an audio only format.”


And that’s what has happened here. This two CD set is small and will fit into the stocking of most any kid who’s a fan of Ender’s Game, be that kid atheist, Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or even Christian. Because as the kids at battle school say, Christmas is a national holiday, not a religious one.

Posted by Jesse Willis

Decoder Ring Theatre’s Xmas Panda Spectacular! (a Red Panda episode, with a Xmas theme)

SFFaudio Online Audio

Decoder Ring TheatreI’ve found that regular listening to Decoder Ring Theatre is just way too painful. Even though their episodes are all 99.9% stand-alone independent all-in-one tales I find myself absolutely depressed to have to wait 13 days between shows. Whenever a season wraps I get a giant present all at once and that way I can listen to them back to back and avoid that depression.

But… I just can’t resist downloading the latest Red Panda episode. The Christmas themed show sounds soooo good…

A Red Panda Christmas Adventure

“Yes, kids, there’s a man in red on the rooftops, but it ain’t St Nick! In this very special slice of two-fisted pulp justice with all the trimmings, we tip our fedoras to the great Will Eisner and the classic Christmas stories he wrote for his much-loved Mystery Man ‘The Spirit’, and in so doing, turn 1930’s Toronto on its ear! Please enjoy, with our best wishes… Tis The Season!”

Get it here |MP3| or subscribe to the podcast feed and make Christmas come every two weeks:

http://decoderring.libsyn.com/rss

Posted by Jesse Willis