The Ideal Girl by Robert E. Howard

SFFaudio Online Audio

One of Robert E. Howard’s first publications here is The Ideal Girl.

The Ideal Girl by Robert E. Howard

Here’s the text:

“In the first place, she should be at least six feet tall and weigh about two hundred pounds, so she could take in washing or coal heaving at wharfs, while I took a vacation. As beauty is apt to make a woman vain, she should have a face that resembled a female crocodile with hippopotamus ancestors. As to hair, eyes and so on, I have no especial preference, but if she squinted with one ye and goggled with the other, it would be all right. Also, she should have a strong Swedish accent.”

And here’s a reading by John Feaster |MP3|

First published in The Tattler (the newspaper of Brownwood High School), January 6, 1925.

Posted by Jesse Willis

The SFFaudio Podcast #185 – AUDIO DRAMA: ESCAPE-SUSPENSE

Podcast

The SFFaudio PodcastEscapeSuspenseThe SFFaudio Podcast #185 – Jesse, Tamahome, and Christine A. Miller (of Escape-Suspense.com) talk about the two CBS radio drama anthology series, Escape and Suspense. But first we play two shows: From the series Escape – Treasure, Inc., and from Suspense – Always Room At The Top.

Talked about on today’s show:
Escape-Suspense.com, adapted scripts vs. original scripts, Escape vs. Suspense, John and Gwen Bagney, layer upon layer of double-cross, the hopeless ending, what is Clive’s motivation?, a femme fatale, exotic locales, these shows still work 50+ years on, Christine is an episode historian (not a radio historian), Pursuit, Romance, are you looking for Three Skeleton Key?, the use of radio drama in middle schools, The Most Dangerous Game, Archive.org, Edgar Allan Poe, The Hitchhiker, Lucille Fletcher, the Mercury Theatre, Sorry, Wrong Number, running out of shows, San Francisco, the Field Trip app, a lonely workplace is great for radio drama, “don’t think about it at all, just do it”, bad episodes, the movie star connection, Vincent Price, Lux Radio Theater, anthology series, an anthology mystery vs. Law & Order, the format, killing characters, ripped from the headlines, Earth Abides (was done as a two part adaptation), George R. Stewart, The Scarlet Plague, Jack London, San Fransisco as a setting, Man Alive, the Ferry Building, is Always Room At The Top set in New York?, La Mirada, “it could only happen in the world of Suspense?”, Jack Webb, Wally Maher, Anne Baxter, pacing like The Front Page, “business workplace episodes”, mistreated employee episodes, reaching for the 47%, An Occurrence At Owl Creek Bridge (Ambrose Bierce), remakes remakes remakes, appointment radio, The Country Of The Blind (H.G. Wells), Favorite Story, Plunder Of The Sun (David F. Dodge), Hard Case Crime, Treasure Of The Sierra Madre, The Rim Of Terror, The Killer Mine (Hammond Innes), “Nancy Drew with adults”, those impossible to get books, The Quick And The Dead by Vincent Starrett (Arkham House), Cornell Woolrich.

Posted by Jesse Willis

Review of The Walking Dead: The Road to Woodbury by Kirkman and Bonansinga

SFFaudio Review

Horror Audiobook - The Walking Dead: The Road to Woodbury by Kirkman and BonansingaThe Walking Dead: The Road to Woodbury
By Robert Kirkman and Jay Bonansinga; Read by Fred Berman
10 Hours – [UNABRIDGED]
Publisher: Macmillan Audio
Publilshed: 2012
Themes: / Horror / Post-apocalyptic / Zombies /

“He seemed like a good man.”

She looks up, focusing on the doctor. “Is that even possible any more?”

“Is what possible?”

“Being a good person?”

Fred Berman narrates this Walking Dead audiobook, written by Robert Kirkman (the creator) and Jay Bonansinga. I enjoy his narration very much. Even though there is a bunch of zombie fighting in this book, it’s character driven, and Berman adds great touches to each character.

I watch the Walking Dead TV show, and The Governor was introduced just last week. I’m told he’s a big part of the graphic novel story, and that this, the second book in a three book series, is a novelization of a storyline from those. My interest comes as a fan of the TV show – I have only limited knowledge of the graphic novels. This book does not follow the same characters that the TV show follows, but the stories take place in the same world.

My interest in the TV show and the audiobooks has not waned because it turns out that a zombie-ridden Earth is a fine place to tell a story that explores how average people cope when civilization disappears. History is riddled with terrible leaders, and this novel explores how a horrible man can end up leading people, and how those people can end up falling in line.

The novel follows several people as they travel and live and die, making their way across the post-apocalyptic landscape. Eventually, the group ends up at Woodbury, the walled community where The Governor rules. The characters are forced then to make a decision. They can follow this man that the alert ones quickly realize is mad, enjoy the safety from the zombies he provides, or they can take off again on their own, the mere thought of which would make anyone weary. The characters have many different answers. In a world where the characters are constantly threatened by the monstrous, some decide they need a monster of their own for protection, some will have no such thing, and some, despite what they’ve seen, are offended enough to try to change things.

Posted by Scott D. Danielson

Neil Austin’s Masters Of Fantasy (from Famous Fantastic Mysteries 1947 – 1950) DESKTOP WALLPAPER

SFFaudio News

I made this desktop wallpaper for my new computer’s desktop – that’s what I did yesterday instead of actually unpacking and setting up the computer itself. Click through to get the full size version. The images were drawn by Neil Austin for issues of Famous Fantastic Mysteries from 1947 to 1950.

Masters Of Fantasy Wallpaper

Pictured are H.P. Lovecraft, A. Merritt, Robert W. Chambers, Sydney Fowler Wright, Algernon Blackwood, H.G. Wells, Stephen Vincent Benét, Edgar Rice Burroughs, Arthur Machen, M.P. Shiel, John Taine, Lord Dunsany, Clark Ashton Smith, Ray Bradbury, Edgar Allan Poe, Olaf Stapledon, and M.R. James.

Posted by Jesse Willis

The Pit And The Pendulum by Edgar Allan Poe (as read by Xe Sands)

SFFaudio Online Audio

Xe Sands recorded this classic horror story as a Halloween treat – and we certainly appreciate it, but I couldn’t help but laugh the maniacal laughter of a monomaniac when I learned that although the story was indeed originally published in October, 170 years ago, it was actually published as a Christmas story!

The Pit And The Pendulum was first published in The Gift, a Christmas And New Year’s Present for 1843.

And here’s Byam Shaw’s chilling illustration, again not particularly Christmasy, from Selected Tales Of Mystery:
The Pit And The Pendulum - illustrated by Byam Shaw

[Thanks Xe!]

Posted by Jesse Willis

The Diamond Maker by H.G. Wells

SFFaudio Online Audio

The Diamond Maker by H.G. Wells - illustration by Frank R. Paul

Everett F. Bleiler, in Science Fiction, The Early Years, described The Diamond Maker as a tale of “science fiction by implication” – but there’s another way of looking at it too. You could argue that it’s just the story of an unsuccessful heel grifter, with a tall tale and a gaffed prop, who puts on the Send.

I like it either way.

LibriVoxThe Diamond Maker
By H.G. Wells; Read by Jerome Lawsen
1 |MP3| – Approx. 17 Minutes [UNABRIDGED]
Publisher: LibriVox.org
Published: July 25, 2008
First published in the Pall Mall Budget, August 16, 1894.

Voices In The DarkThe Diamond Maker
By H.G. Wells; Read by Sean Puckett
1 |MP3| – Approx. 16 Minutes [UNABRIDGED]
Publisher: Voices In The Dark
Published: 2004/2005
After a long day’s work, our narrator meets a beggar while contemplating the peacefulness of the river embankment. First published in the Pall Mall Budget, August 16, 1894.

Here’s a |PDF| made from the story’s appearance in Science Wonder Stories, June 1929.

And here’s a short film noir style adaptation:

The Diamond Maker from Sean Phillips on Vimeo.

Posted by Jesse Willis