Author: Jesse Willis

The D’Ampton Worm, as taken from the 1988 movie version of Lair Of The White Worm (based on Bram Stoker’s novel of the same name).

The D’Ampton Worm

John D’Ampton went a-fishing once, a-fishing in the weir,
He caught a fish upon his hook he thought looked mighty queer,
Now what the kind of fish it was John D’Ampton couldn’t tell,
But he didn’t like the look of it, so he threw it down a well.

Now the worm got fat and growed, and growed an awful size,
With great big teeth and a great big mouth and great big goggle eyes,
And when at night it crawled about all looking for some booze,
It fit fell dry upon the road, it milked a dozen cows.

This fearful worm would often feed on cows and lamb and sheep,
And swallow little babes alive when they lay down to sleep,
So John set out and got the beast and cut it into halves,
And that soon stopped it eating babes and sheep and lambs and calves.

So now you know how all the folks on both sides of the weir,
Lost lots of sheep and lots of sleep and lived in mortal fear,
So drink the health of brave Sir John, who kept the babes from harm,
Saved cows and calves by making halves of that famous D’Ampton Worm!

Posted by Jesse Willis

It turns out that Bram Stoker’s The Lair Of The White Worm was not wholly a product of his vivid imagination. Indeed, there is a fully formed legend from the North East of England that tells the story. And here is the tradition folksong, as operfromed by Tony Wilson, based on the legend:

The Lambton Worm

One Sunday morn young Lambton
Went a-fishin’ in the Wear;
He catched a fish upon his heuk,
He thowt leuk’t varry queer,

But whatt’na kind of fish it was
Young Lambton couldna tell.
He waddna fash to carry hyem,
So he hoyed it in a well.

Chorus:
Whisht! lads, haad ya gobs,
Aa’ll tell ye aall an aaful story,
Whisht! lads, haad ya gobs,
An aa’ll tell ye ‘boot the worm.

Noo Lambton felt inclined to gan
An’ fight in foreign wars.
He joined a troop o’ Knights
That cared for neither wounds nor scars,

An’ off he went to Palestine
Where queer things befel,
An’ varry seun forgot aboot
The queer worm in the well.

(Chorus)

But the worm got fat an’ graad an’ graad,
An’ graad an aaful size;
With greet big teeth, and greet big mooth,
An’ greet big goggley eyes.

An’ when at neets he craaled ‘oot
To pick up bits o’ news,
If he felt dry upon the road,
He milked a dozen coos.

(Chorus)

This feorful worm wad often feed
On calves an’ lambs an’ sheep
An’ swally little bairns alive
When they laid doon to sleep.

An’ when he’d eaten aall he cud
An’ he had had his fill,
He craaled away an’ lapped his tail
Seven times roond Pensher Hill.

(Chorus)

The news of this most aaful worm
An’ his queer gannins on,
Seun crossed the seas, gat to the ears
Of brave an’ bowld Sir John.

So hyem he cam an’ catched the beast
An’ cut ‘im in three halves,
An’ that seun stopped him eatin’ bairns
An’ sheep an’ lambs and calves.

(Chorus)

So noo ye knaa hoo aall the folks
On byeth sides of the Wear
Lost lots o’ sheep an’ lots o’ sleep
An’ lived in mortal feor.

So let’s hev one to brave Sir John
That kept the bairns frae harm,
Saved coos an’ calves by myekin’ halves
O’ the famis Lambton Worm.

(Final Chorus)

Noo lads, Aa’ll haad me gob,
That’s aall Aa knaa aboot the story
Of Sir John’s clivvor job
Wi’ the aaful Lambton Worm.

Posted by Jesse Willis