The Ideal Girl by Robert E. Howard

One of Robert E. Howard’s first publications here is The Ideal Girl.

Here’s the text:

“In the first place, she should be at least six feet tall and weigh about two hundred pounds, so she could take in washing or coal heaving at wharfs, while I took a vacation. As beauty is apt to make a woman vain, she should have a face that resembled a female crocodile with hippopotamus ancestors. As to hair, eyes and so on, I have no especial preference, but if she squinted with one ye and goggled with the other, it would be all right. Also, she should have a strong Swedish accent.”

And here’s a reading by John Feaster |MP3|

First published in The Tattler (the newspaper of Brownwood High School), January 6, 1925.

Posted by Jesse Willis