The SFFaudio Podcast #890 – AUDIOBOOK/READALONG: Rogues In The House by Robert E. Howard

The SFFaudio Podcast #890 – Rogues In The House by Robert E. Howard (53 minutes) read by Alex (Pulpcovers), followed by a discussion of it. Participants in the discussion are Jesse and Alex (Pulpcovers)

Talked about on today’s show:
with a little bit of relish, how little dialogue Conan gets, interesting about it, the first 2 chapters, a little exchange about chapter length, what chapters are for, Agatha Christie novels, chapter titles, help tell the story, earliest being read to experience, An Unexpected Part, Tolkien was a master of chapter titles, “spoiler” vs. anticipation, little fake rhyme, One Fled One Dead One Sleeping In A Golden Bed, the fled is Conan, the red priest, the sleeping in a golden bed, what about poor Thak?, dead, bled out, maybe this is too soon, reflecting on what the story is really about?, set in a city state, we never get the name, nationalists and patriots, funnily, some response about the Reacher series, Conan with a pension and patriotism, 3 main dudes, accessory figures including the girl, clearly so much backstory to this, the Dark Horse comic, all issues, so many issues, the Gunderman, long betrayal, she gets a name, why she’s mad at Conan, all implied, you don’t really need it, ends up in prison, kills her new boyfriend, naked in a cesspit, a mirror, why is she doing that?, working for this fence, the main badguy is a priest to the king, knows everybody’s secrets, his house is full of tech, the last Conan we did, The Tower Of The Elephant, a guarded house, a dog, lions, black lotus, gray lotus, loved his lotuses, a servant master relationship, alien from space, space elephant, acolyte betrayed him, stapled him to a couch, a monkey turned on his master, he knows how to do it, he’s basically a man!, he’s learned his lessons so well, roles are reversed, slightly reversed and twisted, housebreaker, steal the jewel, explicitly hired to kill the guy, I would like to loot the house, too much patriotism and nationalism, the “maze”, full of shit, literal shit, unnamed into the story, some satisfaction out of that, she’s a hooker, a woman of loose morals, sleep her way to whatever she needs, a hard world, kills the most recent guy, he’s mad, threatens her with the knife, Thak does the same thing, Nabonidus, Murillo, stab him, eat em, let em go, a blood rage about his life, monkey man doesn’t talk much, kinda like a maze, now watching through mirrors, hidden cameras, double mirrors, the acid vats, explain your disappearence, this is just like an Epstein story, the acid he ordered in the emails, a puppeteer, a cutout, many theories, cutouts in use, social media people, influencers, bounties, this number of likes and views, streamers and whatever, certain messages, hashtags, the only purpose for hashtags is to punctuate jokes, #BrassBra, get things trending, read good stories, #KetchupAndMustardGetup, wearing both red and yellow, a person your using as a tool, pawns are not important, you can sacrifice your queen, trap the other person, cutouts are pawns, to protect you, explicitly discussed in the story, took Thak from his people when he was a cub, they’re gonna be men in 100,000 years, we’re Thak, Thak is a man, a worthy opponent, typing skills, very interesting, as a shadow of Nabonidus, why people buy dogs, mostly for protection and alarm system, hard to train, expensive, a little thing you keep in your purse, why he’s rebelling, so to with Murillo, a nobleman, chopped off his ear, do what I say or knuckle under, he’s evil because he’s enforcing his will on other people, how’s this different, stealing honestly, he’s assassinating honourably, a debate with himself, he uncuffed me, the honourable thing to do, the moral framing for the story, keep control of the city, famously unnamed, Jenna comes from Roy Thomas, the Marvel version, on page 7, Arnold Schwarzenneger holding up a lady, I put two inches on my muscles, Conan The Destroyer sort of has the Thak scene, The Mirrors Of Tuzun Thune, one of the better post-Conan sword sorcery movies, Krull, good things in it, some of the action is quite good, the tone is wrong, a guy on twitter doesn’t like the first Conan movie, a distillation of the ideology of many of the stories, a scene from Rogues And The House, enjoying the riches after stealing from the tower, the guards come in and arrest him, I need you to kill a man, or get my daughter back, we’re free, he has this abiding ulterior motive, revenge, childhood trauma, after his resurrection, bodily dead, in other Conan stories, The Phoenix On The Sword, we’re patriots we love our country, usurped the proper throne from the proper heir, 19th century French, Ataturk, so sketched, Mirror For Princes, the mirror is for the reader, always, Red Nails, crossing the jungle, I like you girl, I’m busy, suddenly dragon, will say things that make them seem naive, Delcardes’ Cat, a talking cat, I’m not Murillo, I’m Conan, over his shoulder in his thoughts, he doesn’t say much, not be distanced from his POV, make judgements, why do people like the Conan stories?, he just says I’ve had enough of this city, you mentioned a horse, curious to see, before I walked the road Nabonidus walked this night, aware of death, the different between a childlike love of Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, the point of a story like this, shit happens, why is Thak dead and Conan alive?, he survived the thing that should be unsurvivable, caught up with the nationalist shit and this patriotic shit, a personal propaganda, hmm, yes, I agree, the story works as a whole, literally the sewer of the house, there’s a mirror there, we’re invited to think of Thak, trynna trick people, or take the mantle, become the master of the house, a rebellion against being a cutout, a servant pet, not a tame tiger, fuck you I’m a man, they don’t have fire, the most interesting character in the story, picked up and used as a quasi servant, slave/pet, an experiment, can I teach this thing to do my bidding, the word shadow, one of his favourite words, he learned what I taught him, at once body guard and servant, being partly a man, semibrain, bestial ambition, I see myself in Thak, one of the only characters?, it’s a real fight, this guy could kill Conan, he’s got gorilla strength, all the humans he fights, he brains a guy, knocked his skull open, not even a speed bump, portrayed as a rogue, a corrupt nobleman, invited to see him as honest, Robert E. Howard inviting us to admire Conan, big muscles, also canny, knocked himself out on the way because he was drunk, took him to jail, police, terrible writing and drawing, ship with gunports, am I stupid?, a reference photo, hidden off the coast, the sails are up, sloppiness, Robert E. Howard liked it, praise from Clark Ashton Smith and H.P. Lovecraft, only did two drafts, no notes, makin money, told a good story, it is fun, the mode that people don’t seem to understand, Robert E. Howard has grievances, a personal animus against city hall, or religion, how anti-religious is this story?, in contradistinction to Reacher season 3, a former cop, military cop, wanders from town to town, on the side of good, an old grievance against some guy, running a new thing, basically killing people randomly, in there working in the shadows of law enforcement willy-nilly, just murders people, it fits with the Conan mentality, Conan is not a part of the state, in the war of all against Conan will do fine, a fantasy in the way that Howard isn’t, Howard is more cynically realistic, what anchors his morality, his own sense of honour, barbarism vs. civilization, corrupt thieves, makes his way through it, rights the ship, a very interesting mirror, a monkey who thinks he’s a man, wants to be greater than he is?, we are the monkey men, Conan is comparable to Thak, superstrong, wasn’t quite tweaked up a enough, long story short, to prep for Congo by Michael Crichton, good story and very well read, the one where he takes over a pirate ship, Pool Of The Black Ones, is there pillars in that one?, Iron Shadows In The Moonlight, Queen Of The Black Coast, they’re not designed to be distinct, in this issue, new Conan story, buy the issue, all stories new, reprinted a few Lovecrafts, recording this, the ear party, rich nobleman, rich nobleman, British accent, he’s going to sound American, a John Wayne voice, what Robert E. Howard’s voice, Clark Ashton Smith’s voice, hick Californian?, top stories, the themes are really good, Conan is more invested in that story, puts on the costume, that was a weird Tuesday, he fell under her spell, this is my favourite novel, other mirrors that reflect you better, what am I missing?, this book The Lost Continent, a tentative plan to do a double, The Adventure Of The Cardboard Box, famous titles, human ear!, authors tired of their characters, The Seven Dials Mystery, Jeeves and Wooster, annoyed at writing Poirot stories, hated Sherlock Holmes, read my White Company, by Grabthar’s Hammer!, her first novel, a hot topic at the time, Belgian refugees, poor Belgium, Russians bad, poor Ukraine, why they took the the out of the Ukraine, Ukraine means borderlands, the steppe before you get to the Russian steppe, right in the Conan stories, the Border Kingdoms, we’re being manipulated at all points at all times, he’s so cynical, loves his mom, somethin going on there, maybe he’s a little mad with the hooker he hooked up with, it becomes literary fiction, this is fun, we as English speakers should be free to translate things into English, Mumbai, Bombay, Peking, Beijing, Constantinople, Istanbul, youre being manipulated, Rome, Roma, Munich, Munchen, English names, countries outside of Europe, Germany vs. Deutchland, very top down, a bottom up guy, listen to what the people on the street are saying, fuck the queen, fuck the king, you can’t tell me what to do I’m going to follow my own code, if you acceede, the word empathy is used all the time, what the fuck is an empath?, fuck your feelings, feelings are not important, principles are important, being just is important, sorry kid you can’t have potato?, you can’t have another ice cream, this is a book you don’t break the spine, crack the spine, horrifying, what are you doing, you don’t deserve books, from a scarcity point of view, this is a thing you should respect, pages start falling, tear it limb from limb, that issue of Rogue, you get used to it, it does feel wrong, cut this child apart, maybe this is wrong, to help other children, it was duplicated a million times, they’re relatively rare, a fun mag, the scanning group, yelled at, a moderator, the majority of the things being scanned are from people’s collections, Alexander Tuesday, he must have had a huge collection, Science Fiction Age, Starlog, Realms Of Fantasy, 1977, the Star Wars issue, from Trish [E. Matson], a kid who doesn’t understand this has value to humanity, take it all the way to the dump, literal treasure that needs to be shared, so lucky now, forces, the yahoo group was destroyed, treasured in place, you learn so much, how that thing looked in place, people change things, they don’t negro or nigger, when Agatha Christie, Ten Little Niggers, Ten Little Indians, the gauls, etext being so manipulable, out of a newspaper, a turn of phrase, and abbreviation, in that Poe story, D___, the name of the hotel or whatever, audio is one step removed from the text, a good story from Manhunt, On The Sidewalk Bleeding by Ed McBain, the girl show up, acting differently, they’d swapped the names, write a paper about what’s going on in the story, went to the Manhunt issue, it wasn’t a later revision the author had done, somebody had fucked it up, scanning is the ultimate way of preserving, the bottom of one leaf was cut-off, cloning text letter by letter, a Lawrence Block book, maybe an original paper copy, etext, take a scan that already exists, wraps on different screens, legit typos, 50s sci-fi paperbacks, this is clearly a typo, a weird alternate spelling?, really obvious typos, half-asses way of doing it, original book version, transcribing it anyway, corrections in square brackets, put up both, PDFs print, format for printing, not the ideal, the plain old etext that gutenberg.org does, replicate the font, lose the illustrations, gutenberg Australia, different methods, keep doing your best, audiobook, preferred format, when people are not faithful to the text, the poor blind people who don’t get to experience how racist things were, that Amy Tan story, Shirley Temple, a star from the 30s, “sauciness”, popu-music stars, age 12 boobs, what do you think about breast implants, Shirley Temple is not a sex symbol, Little Orphan Annie, musicals, delighted by this little singing girl, nightmare life, get some trauma out of that, a monkey with a cape and a hoddie, taken from his parents, his culture!, I’d be ragin too, some Cimmerian kills him, annoyed by this story, too much intrigue, a good clean monkey to fight, a girl who won’t betray me the instant I leave the room, it’s a book, wife got really mad, slip her some mp3 files, uncensored from the 30s, Kings In The Night, etexts of The Sex War and World Without Men, pathogenic books, purple lips, fun ideas, the year 7000, discover a frozen man, flashback to the 50s, a new kind of birth control, the weirdly manipulative woman, sexually assaults him, the 2020s, a reporter in London, a Children Of Men sort of thing, enforced breeding, the government comes after him, the Concorde, many such cases, and his name will be Adam, protect this weird little boy, instincts, no real resolution, ai controlled, all the women are lesbians because they’re brainwashed, Mr. Adam by Pat Frank, a sex-comedy, very prudish, atmospheric nuclear test, 9 months later, what happened?, no fertile men anymore, saved by lead poisoning, this guy is still fertile, all the women have to have sex with this man, a program to best use his sperm, he’s not actually being used, jockeying for who’s going to be in charge, a joke about the arms race, nuclear weapons, we’ve got a sperm gap, you’re going to have access to Mr. Adam, the Chinese have one too, how stupid the government, pre-the Cold War, but not much, no on-screen sex at all, using a man as a tool, we’re going to sterilize Mr. Adam, I’d like to spend some time with my wife, the cover from Britain, a certain kind of book, theoretically they find him sexy, fun book.

Rogues In The House

Posted by Jesse Willis

Reading, Short And Deep #535 – The White Death by Don Mark Lemon

Reading, Short And Deep

Reading, Short And Deep #535

Eric S. Rabkin and Jesse Willis discuss The White Death by Don Mark Lemon

Here’s a link to a PDF of the story |PDF|.

The White Death was first published in The Black Cat, July 1902

Posted by Scott D. Danielson Become a Patron!

The SFFaudio Podcast #889 – AUDIOBOOK/READALONG: Travels With A Donkey In The Cévennes by Robert Louis Stevenson

The SFFaudio Podcast #889 – Travels With A Donkey In The Cévennes by Robert Louis Stevenson (3 hours 51 minutes) read by Patrick Wallace for LibriVox, followed by a discussion of it. Participants in the discussion are Jesse and Maissa Bessada

Talked about on today’s show:
1879, blanked out on the Cévennes part, a CBC ideas, travel writing, a Mark Twain, couldn’t do the show, abandoned the book, sad sad story, travel literature, living in Egypt for two years, everything is different, letters home, describing what’s happening, bringing up baby, Bringing Up Baby (1938), exaggerate a little bit, Travels by Michael Crichton, private about a lot of the stuff, public about a lot of the stuff, travels with his sister, before he died, a bunch of things that happened to him, picked from earlier and later things, his parents, what income bracket they’re in, guessing, early stuff is all travel stuff, exotic locations, Spain, very good writer, extraordinarily thing to write down, scuba diving, the bends, not enough air, lucky to be alive, I had to resist that quite strongly, an incredible thing to say, in the desert, elide the relationship, some movie start, a spiritual retreat or something, not a super-spiritual guy, nobody understands, profound effects, hike Kilimanjaro, tall, weird, super-smart, a wealthy background, might have been CIA, lot of people’s dads were CIA it turns out, more like a memoir, not exactly travel, being in medical school, attitudes towards corpses, young horny guys who think they are able to cure all diseases, resisting that, The Terminal Man, writing on the side, instead of being a doctor, more of his stuff, that’s definitely true about him, travel incident, Paul Theroux, The Old Patagonia Express, Eric Idle, travel writing, A Year Off by H.P. Lovecraft, does this sound familiar, a grand tour, really?, a travel guy, so expensive to travel, it fits, the poetry of it, over the top, he’s so cheap, he’s a dreamer, the dream, an inheritance, a small budget, Let’s Go Europe, Let’s Go Central America, a cheap place to eat, you’ve got to if you can, travel broadens the mind, going everywhere, much cheaper: read about those places, we don’t always agree on everything, animal abuse, I’ve made Modestine my slave, it has to have been, he’s much softer that the average person, he felt guilty, he’s in love with her, he had the good manners to cry about it as he’s selling her, wait a minute, I’ll cry now, a new boss, locked herself out of the school, she had her bible group there, a rumor about Jesse, show a student something inappropriate, wallpaper, Mort Kuntsler painting, no nudity, a painting of a woman, offended a student years ago, Predator (1987), just 3 years older than me, go down the street to the bookstore and read the novelization, books don’t have literary restrictions on them the way games do, in this book there’s a scene where Robert Louis Stevenson after a cow, he calls them sluts, referring to Modestine, her faults are based on her race and sex, it’s hilarious, disparages women left right and center, a word for female women, [wench], other than a physical journey, a lot of religion, the least religious parts, going through time, donkey pilled, donkeys are cool, cat pilled, dog pilled, a she ass, a jenny would be the right word, jack and jenny, second in his estimation, even though the wife can read and the husband can’t, they’re inferior, second class citizens if even citizens, up and down stuff, catholic vs. protestant, non-christianness vs. christianness, geopolitical landscape, I’m a lame woman who can’t get out of bed, go next door, it’s like time travel, he’s alive while we’re reading the book, casual sexual partners, a woman with low standards of cleanliness, going into a monastery, not converting, very reasonable, finest set of wrinkles on her face, we won’t meet again because I’ll be dead, my man is completely ignorant of everything, these are all real encounters, shades of his interpretation, just 12 days, felt like months, the audiobook not in the original, it doesn’t fit the book very well, it is not the journey, and now the book is starting, reading with your eyes vs. reading with your ears, following characters, from moment to moment, a section that really caught me, some thoughts are the most beautiful things and then they vanish, wow I love that, so beautiful, “vanish”, more deeply, an atmosphere of pleasure, so disposed my spirit, in another country, in a different time, done me good, scan their features, a god travelling by our green highways, ope, the lighter about our business, I dined with a pair of Catholics, captivated by him, the one that everybody knows, Doctor Jekyll And Mr Hyde, a guy who’s one guy who’s two guys, transforms like The Hulk, all the superhero stories are derived from older stuff, nothing that isn’t, Silver Surfer, Galactus is god, Spider-Man, Superman is the most simple, he has no characteristics, he’s from space, his wife didn’t like it, he threw it in the fire, you could have fixed it, he wrote it again, the sparks of his wife, it was supposed to be a surprise, go in with no spoilers, The Sixth Sense (1999), oh he’s a ghost, not art films, fell asleep while watching the movie, the little boy’s saying: I see dead people, Bruce Willis and the kid, it’s dark, slow paced, a build up, the whole point of the movie, so heavily on the twist being the thing that makes it good, you know who the hulk is right away, the origin story is just to get to the thing, unassuming New Yorker, tension there, with great power comes great responsibility, they’re the same guy, that was the sensation of the book, doing something nobody had really done before, reading Edgar Allan Poe, The Black Cat, axes his wife and burns down the house, The Tell-Tale Heart, murders in the domestic sphere, it’s a parody, he’s making fun of something, a guy who drinks too much, out of perversity he kills his cat, the cat comes back the very next day, a curious colouration, who owns this cat, he kills the cat a second time, that’s the question: why does all this stuff happen, you drink too much, it’s about teetotalling, what is The Tell-Tale Heart about?, feeling so guilty, the narrator, he’s so upset about what he’s done, he’s hearing the heart under the floorboards, a powerful piece, we interpret him at the end, they can hear the sound of the beating heart under the floorboards, nervous very dreadfully nervous, the hidden thing inside of Poe, late last year, it’s about his adopted father, disowned him, John Allan, Poe and his older brother, orphaned, father disappeared, mother died, this one child, they broke up the kids, explains so much, of this famous actor pair, stage actors, adopted mother who loved him, was jealous of him?, win back their relationship, the richest guy, fucking around with Poe, Poe was a handful, a lot of stress, a great artist, I have to be forgiving, a professional writer, they traveled to Scotland when he was a child, early 19th century, wouldn’t fund his education, gambling debts, why the psychology is so awesome, he has massive passions, gave nothi9ng to Poe, his illegitimate children, enmity, some trauma, The Cask Of Amontillado, revenge for something never stated, people’s interpretation, all coming from the personal, hwy he’s going anywhere, an affair with a married woman, trying to walk it off, still living with his parents, get some life experience, Fanny Osborne, adopted the son, Jack London revered Robert Louis Stevenson, makes total sense, Jerry Of The Islands, Call Of The wild but in the South Pacific with a Terrier, boat life, Brother Of Jerry, a Pacific guy, Japan’s invasion of Korea, massive success, big career, very short, Wolf ranch, he buys a boat, many other science fiction stories, he goes to where RLS is buried, Tahiti/Samoa, traveling for his longs, a weak constitution, consumption, photos of him old, 44, brain hemorrhage, a lot of coughing, not good for ya, he wrote a ton, a few famous things, A Child’s Garden Of Verse, age 7, young man, wearing a fez, huge 20 hour biography, précis it, Requiem, by Robert A. Heinlein, the starry sky, poetry of them, almost the people were the problem, sleeping inside, outside with his stars, oh here’s the desk, we don’t use it, the horror of this book, causing so much strife, strife between people, an ultra-right wing, crazy woke leftist, not religious at least in clothing, 1 protestant region, a lot of governesses, their religions are compatible, peaceably together, exporting their people, the means of dividing people, the one paradigm, things are happening in the world, that guy is a demon, he’s just demonic, doing demonic things, if you literalize things too much it clouds your thinking, the way to escape this, alternative points of view, not hiding things from your kids, not allowed to DM any more, keeps kids out of trouble, creates love of vocabulary and reading, positive things, explore morality in ways that are safe, ruinous, never lie to them, tell the kids about stuff, etymology, pencil, pen, peninsula, a male body part, that’s the root of it, penne pasta, it is cool, whenever we’re talking about vocabulary, not bird or bark, metaphor roots, understand, misunderstand, not as things to memorize, a list of SAT words, not designed to last, inscribed, cut into written into, epitaph, euphemism, Phemie’s not a name, well spoken, a name from 6000 years ago, number one and number, I gotta go, misinterpret, the word piss pisses people off, the letter, the letter p has now become a word, caca, don’t mention the t word, the trump word, manupulae comprehension, banning words, banning speech, correcting people’s speech, without censorship, the word “nigger”, the offensive word, changed it, censorship is a kind of manipulation and control of people, a good person in a weird time, in the religion discussions, changing words for other words, that was beautiful, he’s insightful, I learned a lot about a dead donkey, her and her personality, she’as pretending it is too heavy, giver her a switch, times in the book where she’s running, approaching something, sharing his meals with her, not just master and slave, words in the book, horses react to spurs, that’s why spurs exist, give it the heel, the programming that you want to communicate, they enjoy running, if Will were here, girls love being chased more than boys love being chased, little girls, “chase me”, why?, boys want to hit each other with sticks, jungle gym, jumping over rivulets, not going to disagree, it’s built in, knows how to stand up, books allow us to communicate not just by modelling our parent’s but with the ancients through codexes, naughty girls, in the context of it, tripwires for people, how much has things changed, I have a goad!, a pinpricking stick, that’ll make it go, almost nobody rides horses anymore, a famous streamer shocking his dog, shock collar, it wasn’t, it’s not a shock collar!, to stay on the bed, part of the set, a very horrible person, those shock collars are legal, enough pressure, relatively unpowerful, animal abuse, shocking part, for training, prevent them from doing damage with their teeth, contemptible, dogs are tools, protection for our animals, comfort creatures, we are in a strange relationship with animals, 1878, definitely different, haven’t touched a real animal, Alex (Cirsova), the farm animal part of the zoo was the most popular, books about cows and pigs and chickens, that screen, a farm in the middle of Toronto, kids want to see these things, we live in light pollution, behind screens, screens and screens and screens, a donkey braying, go to the feed store and pet the cat, we need to and we don’t, most of them don’t have pets, most people didn’t have pets until the 20th century, menageries, a collection of pets, Poe in The Black Cat, monkey, birds, a cat, an attack on teetotalling, drinking is bad, the love of animals, central, cat moms, fur babies, a little overboard, oh yeah, Cévennes, not super far from Spain, what we know about the world, only partially correct, French wasn’t one language for a thousand years, small languages that came together, English has changed significantly in that same time frame, England invaded by the French, Norman French, right near Paris, the borderlands, North of Nice, more towards Andorra, a country between Spain and France, a valley, a little valley, kinda related, the first modern nation state, the borders of France as they are today, let’s get everybody on the same system, meterize gods, the god of justice, the French Revolution, a pretty simple language, a funny thing early on in the book, in the Scottish, answer a question with a question, a hippopotamus or a alligator, I just need to know where I’m going, the water your swimming in, the people of Quebec, still a colony, evolved somewhat, old France, not wholly frozen in time, a time capsule, a colony cut off from the empire, when they import French teachers to be their tutors, also twice removed, the Acadians, regular French, the accent’s going to be different, the culture, an effort to rationalize French, that French rationalization was much harsher, a fashion to add new words all the time, kids fighting against that, the official discipline of it is pretty strong, recreate his his journey, the prequel part, floundering, the kind of book you need to be with it, nice and short, more and more and more, I really like this book, went on a journey with it, probably should be excised, why some things should be excised, The Sinking Ship by Robert Louis Stevenson, Fables, half shaved, to the philosophic eye, she is settling fast, the expression is a strange one, time is only relative, in Davy Jones’ Locker, by parity of reasoning, the position of the ship, spoken like a good officer, the spirit room, there is nothing new in our position, he’s predicting his own death, struck by lightning, something inside you might burst, eating dinner, money in the savings bank, too far gone, or whatever it is, getting drunk since they came aboard, an old salt, good god cried the captain, as she were going down, nothing new in our position, a man’s handsome fashion, hope to be eternal, omit to take a pill, or doing anything at all, perfectly conclusive give me a cigar, a glorious detonation, really really really great, his parents get a doctor, might as well start digging his grave now, find a lady to like me, to lie under the stars with me, where did this person come from?, all of my eggs when I was born, she came into existence around the time of the big bang, I don’t think you take my meaning, the captain has a philosophic eye, his trainee, the wine dark sea, the new day is always rosy fingered dawn, a mental trick to fill time and remember what happens next, Homer is not the author, a beautiful morning, the next day, once upon a time, Brothers Grimm world, When tigers smoked, bad arguments, greeks not having the colour blue, a metaphor, the sea tosses you left and right and makes you a drunkard, when you drink too much you vomit, it’s all metaphor, the effect of drinking unmixed wine, drink wine at parties, put a lot of water in it, tipsy and fall over, snoring on the couch, the host’s duty, mix the wine at the right amount, fell out of fashion, drinking as a vice, a way to make your water purer, we can’t have nice things, when gin came into the UK, blasted drunk, small beer, reading something a little bit older, a lot wiser, bible study, you need read to more than one book, don’t just listen to the one guy’s interpretation, stories from the bronze age and a little later, stories about Spider-Man and Batman, a really good character, trouble in the world, Superman, good hearted, pay your taxes, circumspect, your relationship to the good, old books making think good thoughts, out of the horror of the current thing they want you to care about, a way of engaging, be honest all the time and damn the torpedoes, a man condemned to death, I’m still gonna be me, blowing up early, fits both ways, or do anything at all, convinced by the argument, everything is shaped by what you know, don’t know what cancer is, making really scary faces, smoking causes cancer, the propaganda was, the message little Jesse received, misinformed, skin cancer, what you put into the minds of little boys, looking at it for a long time, schizophrenic, in order to make him less schizophrenic, calmed it down?, afraid of it, a little shaky, gives us a little buzz, a little speedup, largely afraid of alcohol, mothers against drunk driving ads, be a control freak about things, addictive and expensive, if you mix your wine properly, heavy marijuana users, positive effects, chill me out, medical marijuana, stop vomiting, you can sue when they spike your shit, a grow house, filters on cigarettes, a half measure, tar in cigarettes, the disease was solved by having woodsmoke in your home, peanut allergies, exactly, celiac disease, gluten intolerance, glyphosate, why you can’t have any bread, the poison they put on it, our food is contaminated, if you go to Italy, genetically modified wheat, blame autism on Tylenol, when your baby is growing inside of you, folic acid, a good diet to begin with, how did people survive without all the supplements, sold a bill of goods, what happened to consumption, name a guy who isn’t Doc Holiday or Edgar Allan Poe’s wife, the diseases get less worse, at Christmas, with this last name, alcohol drinkers, smokers, 6 uncles, drinking was dangerous, smoking was a bad idea, sailors smoke, everything is explained by looking at the backstory, abstinence from alcohol, get rid of this scourge, husbands to beat wives, cheap alcohol is a tech, fix itself by giving it enough time, China was addicted to opium, a revolution against their occupiers, fentanyl, smaller, cheap spirits were the problem, from too much gin, alcohol poisoning, nobody’s going to be talking about it in 1000 years, maybe we’re talking about, teams and brave talk, our telepathy works fine, cursing you, had faith, chose right, in 2 weeks for a Dortmunder book, space brain, Misha Burnett, Killing Time, this book is great, reading it again, so easy to read Westlake, see the hands spreading apart, audio drama, aphantasia, do you think the way I think, in dreams, see when I’m dreaming, look at the blue ocean, there is a sea, an ocean, rosy fingered dawn is just breaking over the horizon, the sea is wine dark, what colour is the sea, imagine it, good at drawing?, draw a boat, a rowboat, a dinghy, a fantastic artist, another guess, no, do you see things in dreams, the same part of your head, you don’t have conscious access, pink, the colour of wine, the darkness, its deep, hiding its contents from you, why it is evocative, Pulpcovers recorded Rogues In The House, full of colour, a very angry gorilla, takes his cape, I am the master now, monkey see monkey do, a red caped monkey, why is it a red cape?, little red riding hood, all subject to metaphor, monkey men are men who act like monkeys, what’s the difference between us and an animal, a Simak recently, The Visitors, kinda like War Of The Worlds, the invasion of the Earth by slabs from 2001, obelisks, colonizing the planet, bales of cellulose, have a fantastic day.

Travels With A Donkey

Posted by Jesse Willis

Reading, Short And Deep #534 – Too Bad You Died by Joseph Slotkin

Reading, Short And Deep

Reading, Short And Deep #534

Eric S. Rabkin and Jesse Willis discuss Too Bad You Died by Joseph Slotkin

Here’s a link to a PDF of the story |PDF|.

Too Bad You Died was first published in Fantastic Story, March 1953

Posted by Scott D. Danielson Become a Patron!

The SFFaudio Podcast #888 – READALONG: Bank Shot by Donald E. Westlake

Jesse, Scott Danielson, Maissa Bessada, and Misha Burnett talk about Bank Shot by Donald E. Westlake

Talked about on today’s show:
everybody knows their places, the 2nd Dortmuner novel, Bank Shot, the movie adaptation, DNFed that thing, it existed on dvd, just to confirm, be completist, artificial eyebrows, a record for biggest eyebrows, stunt eyebrows, very cartoonish, the broad characterization, pretty close, the money is on fire, the vocab word that best applies to Dortmunder is hapless, luckless, hap means luck, what happend, Maissa?, I’m feeling really happy, luck’s been with with me today, happenstance, how did it fall out?, what went wrong?, character and cartoonish, Herman X, we’re looking at his menu, a negroni, black beans, everything added to the menu is black, how black is he? even his drink is black, just so funny, movies out of Westlake stories, I’m a movie maker, make a great book into a good movie, it almost never works, what killed the movie?, they didn’t follow the book, starts with him in prison, something ridiculous, Upjohn Ballantine, a Dukes of Hazard kind of a way, where you buy the name of the book, they did pass a bank that was in a trailer, the temporary bank was in a trailer, the acting was horrible, melodramatic, one of the actors was Boss Hogg, the fake lawyer that came in to visit, Karp, he’s in one of the James Bond movies, that boy’s out there doing it again, it’s like a movie, this would make a terrific movie, why deviate, this is dead on, the scriptwriter complains about the movie, the film failed due to the direction, never truely done justice to Westlake, slightly tilted, a charming idea, stealing the whole building, into a farce, a marvellous stage director, simply wasn’t deft, ruined what I thought was a good piece, bitterly disappointed, it doesn’t translate, it’s so careful, it seems to flow super easy, everything is funny and fun, and endless mistake, you can’t quite do it, it is the way it is told, a lot more cops, great stuff, up on a hill, mobile headquarters, too much coffee and danishes, want some?, aiming to do what is done in the book, it doesn’t translate to film that well, Brer Rabbit, the Uncle Remus stories, these are cartoons, Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck, talking animals betraying each other, a pixar style movie, it works best as a book, Shakespeare is not a novel, when you see Shakespeare performed, you can’t mess with it too much, performed on stage is where it is, location shooting, Westlake lives in the text, he doesn’t live in the plot, his character direction that’s the fun part, betting on cards, two sixes, the whole thing’s moving, too long as a movie, the movie adaptation of A Travesty, A Slight Case Of Murder (1999), a cat just knocked over a bunch of things, James Cromwell, accidentally murders his girlfriend, blackmails him, told first person, breaks the fourth wall, points his funny face towards the camera, a comic murderer, pack in all the plot, knock over a bank, why the book is good, how deftly he handles it, The Blonde Lieutenant, the reason Dortmunder is called Dortmunder, worked as a “snow top”, white helmeted Air Force police, he’s filling in the little details there, a blog, the car crash, smutty books in the back, those were all Donald Westlake, the etext, dig around, the complete dot txt, you jammed on your, Kelp, the Pinto, a row of stores on the right, an alley between the two of them, the storage area, full of paperback books, one was called Passion Doll, Man Hungry, Strange Affair, Off Limits, Call Me Sinner, Apprentice Virgin, his topcoat flapped, you were talking about the cops, why don’t you bums get off the road, what you’re gonna get is cops, every character in this book is him or somebody he knows, he’s Dortmunder but also the cousin, making radio dramas, all the pulp magazines, he wasn’t a regular cop, aspects of his own life, scold you, insurance is in this book, multiple times, an insurance scene, two many knees in the way, observational humour, Merch’s mom, the getaway driver, he’s a car thief, his mom is the cab driver, the pinto, an AMC Javelin, making noises as if it had just eaten a Pinto, making fun of everything, he doesn’t stop, a spinoff of his hardboiled series [the Parker series], come in on the seconds, the seconds are better, a heist, something goes wrong, a revenge book, writing The Hot Rock, getting too silly, leaned into that, being hapless, on the Donald E. Westlake, what’s the one that’s on the SFFaudio website, “I believe my subject is bewilderment”, insurance is a hedge about the bad things happening, that’s this whole book, what can go wrong now?, just pushing what could go wrong, teetering on the edge, very improv, and and and, Castle In The Air, many turrets, a megastructure, what a novel is, what’s going to happen next?, where’s Westlake getting all this, out of his life and his observations, they use the book as the template, what they’re lack is the Westlake, lacking the central core material is him, painting in the characters, vignettes as well, build the scene up and have the rug pulled out, the number of Parker movies, Dortmunder movies, they’re all bad, getting it right never works, they can’t do what the book is doing, a Terminator or an andorid, programmed to do stuff, need sleep or something like that, producing the results, doesn’t do anything that’s inefficient, it’s not science fiction, Data goes back in time on some planet, a character who has no personality, in a film you wouldn’t, Mel Gibson, Robert Duvall, Lee Marvin, Jason Stathem, none of these are hits, they take the template and it doesn’t fit, a book writer, The Stepfather, different and dark in tone, a screenplay for The Grifters, Jim Thompson, hits you like a bag of oranges, really bad and good, a writer’s writer, it is astounding, they flow so easy, the characters are great, the dialogue is fantastic, Michael Kramer is so good, just playing, playing out beautifully, when a paperbook goes out of print, a new version, a new cover, new formatting of the pages, it will have a new font, garamond, my favourite, the Frank Muller collection, I’ll read any Frank Muller book, George Guidall, Bronson Pinchot, too performy, what else has he narrated, to become a chameleon, from Eastern Europe accent, as an actor would, George Guidall narrated Dune is the best version, saved this from cassette, almost none are available, the entire Parker run, the Dortmunder run, he was excellent, the epic fantasy nowadays, super popular for that, The Wheel Of Time series, Brandon Sanderson stuff, a little Wikipedia entry, starting in the 1990s, other ones we could do, a Stark, The Man With The Getaway Face, they’re all drop in, The Axe, fantastic book, No Other Choice (2025), the Koreans would do a good job, you will want to, the premise, laid off, fun fun name, drastic cost cutting measures, the 7 men who could take the job, it’s brilliant, William H. Macy, told from the point of view of this person doing horrible things, brings it tight, ensemble pieces, Robert Redford and 6 other actors, a heist, bring it in tight to the one guy, a French version, a Michael Caine version (not an official version), really new, not hit the services yet, Ebert’s site gave it 4 out of 4, Oldboy (2003), are we bringing in Misha Burnett?, a little awkward, working so many hours, traveling for work, sometimes on a Sunday, Bank Shot as a sequel and the foundation of a series, the franchise starts with the 2nd, an excellent example for people, expanding one book into a series, what to keep, what to show, the comic caper genre, prior to Westlake, he basically invented that, the background of The Hot Rock, too goofy for Parker, needed a character, Dortmunder’s confederates, builds such an incredible cast of secondary characters, in every single book, and May, Victor, extraordinary, the person who got me hooked on Westlake, a homosexual encounter, deciding whether he’s going to have sex with a man or a woman tonight, from the outside it looks just like an ordinary garage, foolin around together, he’s a fanboy of radio drama, he’s not looking for sex, dissatisfaction with eh FBI, never even held a submachine gun, he’s very self-aware, secret lair, comin out the the pulp era, drawing from it, did a lot of science fiction as well, the caper itself follow the outline or precedent set in The Hot Rock in being over the top, you know… I bet, Drowned Hopes, the undertow’s got it, a valley that’s gonna be flooded, rob the bank that’s under the water, one of Westlake’s truly chilling villains, in prison for 20 years, they dammed the lake and drowned the village, blow up the dam, kill a whole bunch of people, something Stark would consider, scuba gear, what could go wrong?!, his secondary characters, the cops, that scene, the safe company, the trailer company and the bank, just like on the edge, how far to push a caricature and keep it believable, on the borderlands of a cartoon, something went wrong in the process, we got all these great actors, Robert Redford is not Dortmunder, George C. Scott would have made a great Parker, Gary Oldman [Gary Coleman], Dortmunder is us, we seeing him on screen, muppets might work, that hyper-realized, just Michael Caine is the bank manager, way on down the series, taking out the casino in Vegas, a lock man, you have to be able to introduce characters, ancillary character, Nobody’s Perfect, Good Intentions, scamming encyclopedia, the phone went tick tick tick, two small ticks, arguing with Kelp, I wonder who they’re after, rear ending the car with the books in the trunk, pseudonymous sex books, Adios Scheherazade, a left handed guide to how to write or how not to write, be a real writer, wants to be a real boy, friend with a spy series, his ideas end up petering out and going nowhere, really sad, how sad it is, The Hook, it’s about Amazon, well before Amazon, hot writer, best seller, once you’re in the system you can never grow past a certain point, I’m gonna put my name on your book, a murder sort of story, he’s better at standalones than he is at series, even when he has a noble failure, Humans, we have more possibilities, thank you for your time, something Simaky, Ring Around The Sun, in about a month, building a carwash, good listening time, 10 – 12 hour days, painting a room, commuting is a big deals, if you’ve got a good book, your arms and your neck and your back, I’ll go in tomorrow I got six more chapters, almost like a drug, makes the time go by so fast, miss my exit, where the series really come in handy, even with Westlake, they’re premium, his Grofield books, not more Parker, they’re adventure, 3 Grofield books, The Dame, The Blackbird, Lemons Never Lie, a job that’s gone sour, Slayground, Parker went into the amusement park, a split, two different experiences, insurance, seeing it all the time, the bank being insured, a real funny subtle one, and you’ll have access, our researchers in Omaha, Nebraska, Anguilla?, a non-fiction account of a coup there, Under An English Heaven, the photograph of him on Wikipedia, the thesaurus, in the news happening, Chernobyl, what would God make of all of this, a bet against the future, Scott Adams, Pascal’s Wager, convert to Catholicism on my deathbed, Somebody Owes Me Money, sitting at the table, some way he can make it pay for him, there’s gotta be a way, this game, getting some food at Walmart, a ricecooker, do you want insurance on that, a $20 item, we don’t get that extra profit, gameifying, take maximum money from suckers, The Handle, a casino off of Cuba, saving up money for his summerstock, since been confirmed, the criminals don’t think of themselves as criminals, a sideline, their real business is something else, Victor is not representative of a stock character, representative of that kind of thinking, he collects cars or something, whatcha doin, the tape’s still going, of the heist while it is happening, the plots, the premise, it’s all about the character touches, had been an MP, a regular day job, health and house decisions, spending am lot of time thinking, using every part of the animal, that kind of treatment, just let me go get my purse, playing Dortmunder, this is a scam, she’s tipped to it relatively early on, only $10, keep talking, meeting again, a slot, put a Parker in there, The Handle, Don’t Ask, Stark stuff, the comedy, formulaic, when you know it is a continuing character, his standalones, The Fugitive Pigeon, the nephew novels, Trust Me On This, the National Inquirer, Baby Would I Lie, Branson, all built up, it’s a Tom Selleck style actor, used to be on a tv show, mystery detective, lives in Los Angles, Samuel Holt, the pseudonym and the character, Paul Kavanaugh by Lawrence Block, One Of Us Is Wrong, didn’t finish it, would have paid more attention, him under a pseudonym, do what he’s doing in The Hook, Stephen King with Bachman, I get these numbers in the mail, his script writing career, been to Florida a few times, Kenya, Kahawa, coffee smugglers, mercenaries, dangerous people, Westlake fans were horrified, very well written, a feel for the utter insanity that was Uganda under Idi Amin, Two Much, other than the premise, seems like it is a light comedy, one pair of the twins out, twins was the whole point, a French adaptation, they don’t play it up, he’s a fuckin horrible murderer, did a show on it not too long ago, give away the ending, like a huge kick in the balls, the last line, sent a joke, I don’t get it, he’s lost his sense of humour, in order to gain all of the money, didn’t really hit me until later, he’s very mature, it’s not manipulation because you don’t feel it, it all gelled, it all worked, never gonna have a sequel to that, The Hunter, Point Blank, the first Parker book is bad, the least best Westlake books, even his noble failures are good, Ed Topless, disses it, a good movie, not a Westlake movie, not a Stark movie, the heist in Jimmy The Kid, Child Heist, it’s a ransom, it doesn’t fit the formula, Parker as a kidnapper, you want to steal something that can move and talk?, the efficiency, when Parker is doing something, going against my better judgement, nobody gets whacked in Dortmunder, bad luck, the rainstorm in Bank Shot, the rain washed the paint away, made the search less active, the captain of the police, funny names in there, one of them is named Block, guys he plays poker with, a book with Brian Garfield, doing cameos, pot-bellied, when the book came out, some diet stuff in there, the doctor character, the backer, Kelp, no matter what he said, “that’s a shame”, it’s money in the bank, we got a good shot on this one, he left the keys in it, you stole the man’s car and turned around and asked him for money, an AMC Javelin, we’re supposed to think it’s the same car, he only drives doctor’s cars, the doctor did fine, it’s double, I’m not in the right business for some things, Help I’m Being Held Prisoner, Ed McBain, Money For Nothing, you have been activated, many years he’s been receiving cheques in the mail, a sleeper agent, Downtown by Ed McBain, as one should, a lot of bad stuff was going on at that time, because of Yoda, the little green guy?, backwards you are, The Empire Strikes Back, stay with me, helping your friends is a mistake, alone in my cult, unfinished, a serial, the first one is done, saves the galaxy, wins the heart of the space princess, the respect of the scoundrel, you did not avenge your father, physically embodied as a ghost, Joseph Wambaugh, his 87th Precinct books, came out of Manhunt, like Westlake and Block, changed his name, went to Hunter College in Evanston Illinois, a more marketable name, a less ethnic name, police procedural, writing what you know and getting the facts wrong, flipped Manhattan on it’s side, when you get the facts wrong, he’s not a cop, he’s a writer, the mugger, the killer, Hill Street Blues, NYPD Blue, with more consistent characters, a rapist in town, getting there in a circuitous route, On the Sidewalk Bleeding, has to suppress, he’s read the guys, An Occurrence At Owl Creek Bridge, what good wiring looks like, the intersection, from the 50s until the 60s, it wasn’t a detective magazine, it was a crime magazine, series in there, the characters won’t survive the story, only some of them, like a writing school, getting good stuff out there, a pastiche, I Bludgeoned My Brother To Death Over A Sex-Doll, Whatever Lola Wants, Switchblade Magazine, a heinous crime for the best of reasons, the writer not being a cop, he was a cop, The New Centurions, The Glitter Dome, the movie, there is/was an audiobook of it, Trent Reynolds’ review of Downtown, kinda cool, there are other good writers to find, running out of Westlake, other writers to read, in the mood for a really good book, reliable, painting that room, putting that carwash together, China Mieville’s The City And The City, a dimensional portal fantasy, the aspect that it has in it, occupy the same territory, agree to ignore the other one, The Doomed City by Arkady and Boris Strugatsky, randomocracized every year, the librarian is now a janitor, shake things up, when the revolution comes, brushin the streets like the last emperor of China, what are we really talking about here, they’re in hell, not a torture hell, purely psychological, learned, the people from one city have a psychological blindness, not hit each other, consciously repress the knowledge of the other, on screen, really good science fiction on screen, what planet we visit next week, an adaptation, do the same job, film is very different, the latest Parker movie, based on the trailer, they just mention going to a casino off of Cuba, a mishmash of several stories, bits an pieces of seven different scores, City Of Industry (1997), a good scene in it, the end of some book he laughs, he is able to have some kind of human connection, a sexy blonde on a beach, on archive.org, slash fiction, Parker/Grofield gay slash fiction, he’s just saying you’re a part of the team, I find you sexy, handled in this book, I’m not sure if I need a man or a woman tonight, things get stressful, men are too difficult, that fun of Westlake is why, suppressing the humour, the jokes are muted, looking for new authors, Jason Pargin series, John Dies At the End, David Wong, listen to the sample, strong and prevalent, comes across almost immediately, very strong voice, several in a row is too much, we’ve booked The Handle for the 11th of April, knock off a casino, there’s a boat in that one, has to travel 3 or 4 states south, regulation number of lights on it, an experience, this guy is not writing out of his ass, rent a truck, gotta get some insurance, it’s fuckin red herring, right along with it, three sixes, suddenly the whole van’s moving, Merch’s mom, hearts, shoot the moon, she is shooting the moon, get the lowest number of hearts, 13 points for the queen of spades, the low score wins, you get everything, poker I do, both doing it in the same place, him having fun, what the hell is happening, decorated the place up, in the other room blasting, it’s pure comedy, they didn’t really fuck it up, the magic of the book, the magic of the writer, a movie improve on a book, I don’t need a movie version of Parker, or a slash fiction version of Parker, they would go together wouldn’t they?

Posted by Jesse Willis

Reading, Short And Deep #533 – One Summer’s Evening by Lord Dunsany

Reading, Short And Deep

Reading, Short And Deep #533

Eric S. Rabkin and Jesse Willis discuss One Summer’s Evening by Lord Dunsany

Here’s a link to a PDF of the story |PDF|.

One Summer’s Evening was first published in The Evening News, October 24, 1949, pg. 2

Posted by Scott D. Danielson Become a Patron!